JuicyLesson 281 : Fear and Loathing as Subban and the Habs Head for Arbitration … TSN Top Five (Concluded) … More Excellent Video Clips From Past Top Tens ..

Music today provided by Jefferson Starship (previously Jefferson Airplane). Check out the great guitar work here. “Whatever I do, there will be love in it.”


Pretty much all sports today … Subban and the Habs head to an arbitration with the two parties $3 million apart. Subban is highballing it asking for $8,5 million but the Habs’ offer smacks of the low-ball.

To state the obvious:

Number 1 – Subban will definitely be with the Habs next season.
Seeing that P.K. is a Restricted Free Agent (R.F.A.), the Canadiens have the chance to match any offer made by another team. That being said, let’s just add – and please remember that we’re stating the obvious in this particular segment of the JUICE – that Canadiens’ G.M. Marc Bergevin is too smart not to do that, thus allowing Subban to take his talents to South Beach or elsewhere. If he (or any future G.M., see Number 3 below)ever did let Subban go, he’d end up being run out of this town … on a rail … after having been maligned, and that’s not a strong enough word for it. Believe me. We all know how hockey-crazy Montreal is! It could get quite ugly.

So we wish you guys …

Number 2 – Next season, though, Subban becomes an Unrestricted Free Agent (U.F.A.) which means if he is made to feel antagonised in any way by the Canadiens, he will simply play out his contract and then he’s gone, to the highest bidder, regardless of what the Habs offer is. For P.K. has to want to be here.


Number 3 – Subban will become – if he hasn’t already – the face of the Montreal Canadiens,image
a brilliant and creative hockey player who can only get better as he matures. Any G.M. who allows such a high calibre player to get away, for any reason short of criminal behaviour on P.K.’s part leading to his outright release and we’re not talking about getting busted with some joints and even some lines here – in that situation, he would simply go into substance abuse, hopefully come out a changed and more appropriate person – and then resume his career; as I was saying, any G.M., even if it’s St. Patrick down the line sometime who lets P.K. get away will be roundly condemned, maligned (see Number 1 above) and then terminated. Hello Rejean Houle and fucking Mario Tremblay whom I really dislike. Every time I see his face I want to puke.

Number 4 – which all points to one definitive conclusion and only one: the Canadiens have to treat the kid with kid gloves today during the arbitration, and in future. I don’t say that the team has to coddle (and I believe that there is a subtle difference between ‘kid glove treatment’ and ‘coddling’) or spoil (or with ‘spoiling’, too, for that matter) him and not bench him and/or give him shit if he deserves it; but he must be treated fairly and as the leader that he is destined to become. The Habs have to be intelligent. Subban has to be happy. Otherwise, it’s “bye bye P.K., bye, bye, potential Stanley Cup very soon, hello anger, hello doldrums”. ‘Nuf said.


Also today we have the conclusion of yesterday’s (Thursday’s) JuicyLesson (280). Hit it if you didn’t on Thursday for the context hayom (today, b’anglit.)


Above: Jay Onrait and Dan O’Toole of Fox Sports Live following their move from TSN last May, I think it was.

5. The three coaching freak-outs
Jim Mora, Dennis Green and Kevin Borseth had some bad days on the field/court. But especially Borseth.

4. The Music City Miracle
The biggest contingent of Buffalo Bills fans outside of Buffalo is in Toronto. So why not reward them for putting up with a horrible franchise by replaying its most harrowing moment over and over and over again.

3. “Cry me a river”: Terrell Owens cries for Tony Romo
Before Terrell Owens burned every last bridge he had in the NFL, he once cried in a press conference over his embattled quarterback, Tony Romo. To this day, nobody knows why.

2. Alex Ovechkin scores falling down
Dollars to donuts this is the hockey play TSN has shown in the top 10 lists more than any other. For good reason, though.

1. Kerwin Bell spikes the ball into his privates
If this is your first time seeing this, I bet it’s funny. If this is your 900th, I feel your pain.

Peace Out.

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