Featured music (with lyrics) is from Eddie Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher”; thanks to Darren Rosen for the idea. Great guitar work by a master guitarist.
How about this joke?
This guy is invited to a Hallowe’en party where everyone is supposed to come dressed up and disguised as emotions.
He, dressed all in red, meets a friend of his, the latter all done up in green.
“What emotion are you supposed to be,” asked his friend.
“Why, I’m all in red. Anger, of course,” came my answer. “What about you, my friend?”, I asked.
“Why I’m all in green. I’m envy, obviously,” she answered.
They then both noticed a guy in a costume, which could liberally be described as pretty far out. You see he was shirtless, but was sporting pants, with the zipper undone, and his penis was sticking out of his open fly but not only that, he had somehow attached the working end of his member to a bright green pear.
“We have to ask.” I said. “What emotion are you supposed to be, walking around with your penis hanging out of your pants, and attached to a pear. What emotion is that?
“Why I’m fucking despair.”
Get it? Got it? Good.
Shout out to Jonathan Lazare, Jonathan Morton and Darren Rosen, as well as Mr. Szickman, whose first name escapes me at and for the moment, I think it’s Darren too, all excellent ex-students, all very good people. Szickman, I’ll never forget that Friday evening at the Old Orchard. You had me crying like a baby. This is the second and last time I’ll ever bring that up but suffice to say, that was a memorable occasion. Really. Man.
FIFA World Cup: Uruguay 2, England 1
–Text Courtesy CBC.ca/FifaWorldCup
–very time consuming tasks of selecting, saving, arranging and inserting images into this and other JuicyLessons: me
Note that images do not accompany the text; they come from another source which will, in future be cited.
England’s World Cup hopes were left in tatters as a Luis Suarez brace secured Uruguay a 2-1 win at Arena Corinthians on Thursday.
Suarez, who had undergone keyhole surgery on his knee just a few weeks prior to the start of the tournament, marked his first appearance in Brazil by heading home the opening goal after 39 minutes, although Wayne Rooney scored a goal that was almost a decade in the making to ensure a tense close to the game.
However, any dreams of a turn around were shattered with five minutes remaining as a critical mistake from England captain Steven Gerrard played Suarez in behind, and the PFA Player of the Year made no mistake to rocket the ball home and seal the points.
The result leaves the Three Lions’ World Cup campaign in serious doubt, with current Group D leaders Costa Rica and Italy, both level on three points, still to contest their second match of the first round on Friday.
Suarez proved a threat straight from the off, although his first effort on target came through an unorthodox avenue as his whipped corner almost caught out Joe Hart at his near post, but the goalkeeper was just able to scramble across to claw the ball behind to safety.
With under 10 minutes gone on the clock, Rooney, who entered the game having not scored in nine World Cup matches, had the England fans on their feet as he curled a free kick over the wall and back down, but he was a fraction off target as the ball fizzed just past the angle of the post.
Against Italy last Saturday, England had managed a quick-fire response through Daniel Sturridge after first going behind, and the Liverpool striker almost managed it again this week as he was played in down the left channel before bursting forward to open an angle at goal, but he was only able to smash his effort into the side netting when maybe he should have looked to find a team-mate in the area.
As in the first-half, Suarez looked to catch the England defence napping from a corner at the start of the second as the striker again almost sneaked one straight in, but once more Hart was able to get across to just palm the ball away.
With 76 minutes gone, though, Rooney finally put to bed the ghosts that had been haunting him for more than eight years, with Sturridge starting off a devastating move by riding the challenge of two defenders before playing in Glen Johnson, who skipped past his marker in the area to slide the ball across the face of goal, and Rooney came running in unmarked to slot the ball into the back of the net.
However, the goal would painfully prove nothing more than a consolation as a complete lapse in concentration from Gerrard saw the England skipper flick a header back over his own defenders and into the path of the ever-alert Suarez, with the striker making the most of his Liverpool team-mate’s gift to run through on goal before hammering his shot straight through Hart and into the roof of the net.
That’s it for another week.
Have a fun week-end.