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JuicyLesson 144: More gold for Canada … More Bullshit From His Royal Lowness, Don Cherry – Idiot, Ignoramus par excellence … TV’s 22 Minutes; Don’s Good for One Thing At Least: A Raucous Laugh

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Please note that over ninety percent of today’s JL was composed yesterday (Saturday) and therefore some of it is already dated and for that, I apologize.

It’s all I can do NOT to write about the Olympics except to say Congratulations to the Canadian team for a great overall showing and to Canada’s men’s and women’s hockey and of course curling teams for the gold medals they each won. Did we Canadians fulfil our Olympic goals? We’ll review those goals and try to present an overall assessment of Canada’s Olympic performance at the Sochi Winter Games in tomorrow’s JL.

HOWEVER, let’s begin today’s JL with a general savouring of two of Friday’s (Seems like eons ago, doesn’t it?) wins: our victory first in the men’s’ curling gold medal match which was won by Brad Jacobs’ Ontario rink against Great Britain; then our win in the men’s hockey semi-final, a 3-0 shutout win against the United States, preparing our way for the gold medal match vs. Sweden to be played on Sunday morning.

More gold on ice as Canada’s Brad Jacobs skipped the Canadian curling foursome to an 9-3 win over the British men who earned silver. The British, badly beaten, threw in the towel and conceded the game after the eighth end leaving the final two ends unplayed. Time to kvel …

Canada’s gold in men’s curling gives us three golds out of possible four (with one gold yet to be awarded in men’s hockey) in the sports of curling and Canada … I mean in the sports of curling and Canada… that should be curling and hockey … or maybe not all things considered.

Our featured photograph in today’s lesson was taken during the semi-final Canada vs. the United States game played Friday afternoon. I had difficulty locating a video highlight package for this particular game because watching Team Canada playing defense – no matter how well they play – does not make for exciting or even interesting highlights unless we count the few fine saves made by Carey Price in Team Canada’s net.

Price stopped all thirty-one shots the States fired at him today (Friday)** compared to the eleven he faced against the Latvians in Wednesday’s quarter-final and any questions or concerns which some people had regarding Carey’s lack of experience in the Olympics as well as about the fact that he has not won any major team or individual awards at the NHL level (vs. Jonathan Quick the US goalie of the L.A. Kings, for example, who has a Stanley Cup ring on his finger as well as a Vezina Trophy to his credit) should all have been put to rest by now.
[**as well as shutting out Sweden in today’s gold medal final, yet he is NOT the goalie selected for the Olympic All-Star team; more on that in tomorrow’s (Monday’s) JuicyLesson.]

Now about our featured photograph: it shows Jamie Benn (wearing sweater #22) celebrating with another member of Team Canada what would turn out to be the one and only goal of the Canada-United States game.[Sochi 02/28] Just for the record, the goalie in this photo, the one on his knees who has just been beaten? That’s correct. Mr. Stanley Cup ring-Vezina Trophy-man himself: Jonathan Quick.

Hopefully Price, Jamie Benn who scored the only goal of the game Friday and the rest of the team will stay right where they are for the gold medal final and not suffer a letdown. The final against Sweden is scheduled for Sunday morning at 7 am and is to be followed by the Closing Ceremonies. Even though the Swedes are missing some key players (Hello Sedin and Zetteberg), they still got Alfredsson and a great goalie, Henrick Lundquist, and should be more than ready for their tilt against team Canada.

Now for some of Don Cherry’s crap: let’s just call these “Predictions: Not for the Ages.”

Cherry predictions: Canada wins gold, doesn’t even mention Team USA WHEN REVIEWING POSSIBLE CONTENDERS to win gold: Sweden, Russia, Finland. Predicts that the NHL would not be going to any more Olympics. Says that they won’t be going to Korea next year, South Korea? Next year? For what? This moron is confused. What else does he predict?

Canada will defeat Norway 7-1; actual result: Canada 3; Norway 1.

“‘Lalongo’ will be the man.” Actual result: Lalongo has played only once, Price played game one, “Lalongo” played game 2 (At least His Eminence got that part right.) But instead of going back to LUONGO and sticking with LUONGO as Don le cloun had predicted in conversation with the CBC reporter Hey-There His-Cox, Team Canada’s brass went back to Price in game three and Price has not left the net since. As for “Lalongo”, he’s been riding the pine, getting splinters in the ass of his big boy goalie pants.

“The Russians look dynamite.” I (Cherry), think they’ll be in the gold medal game or they should be or something to that effect. The beauty of it is we can check out the above clip and see what it is Don really has to say. As I said above, Cherry doesn’t even allude to or mention the Americans as possible gold medal contenders at these Olympics as opposed to the Russians whom he views as possibly going all the way. Well Don. WRONG!! WRONG!! AND WRONG AGAIN!! The Russian Team was eliminated before even reaching the quarter finals in their own home tourney as it were.

Cherry: A hot goalie could lead any of the Finns, Swedes, Russians, or Canadians to win. Well, first of all no fucking kidding Don, no fucking kidding. Not only that, but the Russians are already long gone, and once again no mention of the Excited States.

Re: Luongo which Don, with his usual inattention to detail in his naming of players, coaches, general managers, etc. repeatedly mispronounces as “Lalongo”, Cherry erred in two ways. First, as stated above, after going with “Lalongo” in the second game after having used Price in the first game – to his credit, his freaking eminence got that right in his conversation with CBC’s Hey-There His-Cocks – however they did not stay with Luongo as Donny had predicted they would, but switched back to Price and “Lalongo’s” been gathering splinters in his big boy hockey pants from ridin’ the pine as they say, sitting on the bench in other words, ever since.

Cherry is full of shit. First he never actually predicts that Canada will get to the gold medal game in this clip – listen – does he ever say that Canada will be in the gold medal game rather than spouting off at the mouth … We hafta be there … Second place is no good for us type of thing. Check it out. He says the Russians look great and mentions them as well as the Finns, and the Swedes as potential gold medal game participants. Not the U.S. mind you.

Cherry says he has nothing against Price, having coached him in the Prospects game but he believes that “Lalongo” should be the man because and I quote … “He has the experience; he’s been there.” Two things. What does the fact that Donny boy coached Carey in a minor league game for NHL prospects around ten years ago have to do with anything unless it’s Cherry’s way of saying that he knows Carey thus justifying his remark that he has nothing against Price which he could not say if he did not know Price; in other words the fact that he coached a teen-aged Carey Price around ten years ago in Don’s very small mind establishes his credentials to say that he knows Price and has nothing against him but he thinks that “Lalongo” is the man. So fucking what if he knows Price or not. I never met or coached Carey myself and I have as much right as Don that fuckhead has to pronounce on what I think of his ability and whether or not I believe that he or LUONGO should tend the twine for Team Canada.

And secondly … Umm … what was it? Hope it comes back. It was good.

Thinking on paper … What was it?
First he’s wrong in believing that they would go with “Lalongo” after the first game. Instead of Cherry’s belief that it would be Price-Luongo-Luongo all the way, it’s been Price-Luongo-Price-and Price all the way. And then he’s wrong to believe that there is a logical connection between his having coached Carey so many years ago and knowing him (Price) enough to say that he likes him, or has nothing against him. Take another step here and ask yourself why it matters what Don would think of Carey anyway, that as I said above, that having coached Carey he knows him – as if that should have any bearing on why he thinks that Price is not the man.

Count Cherry’s mistakes.

And now for a guy who doesn’t take himself that seriously …

As well as a big Peace out.

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