Love to Learn, Learn to Love.

Lesson #45: Some people

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Some peopleĀ 

I don’t usually get into arguments with people and if you believe that you obviously don’t know me that well. But the last two days have seen me get into three “fights”, a lot, even for me.

First of all yesterday (Monday) morning there was a scene in the parking lot in a little strip mall close to home. The parking spaces were all taken. I inadvertently passed ahead of a guy in an SUV and then one space opened up. I signalled to him that I was there first (which I wasn’t) and I pointed, in my own inimitable fashion, to the open spot and made it known that I was planning to take it.

After parking my car, I got out and saw the guy who had just pulled into another spot a few metres from mine. I thanked him and what did I get in return. Certainly not a you’re welcome or anything even approximating that. He started in on me with both barrels blazing calling me crazy, screaming at me, saying that he had been there first and that I had no right to have taken the parking spot. When I finally realized that I had indeed passed him and that he had been waiting for the spot which I had taken, I apologized and said that I hadn’t been cognisant of the fact that he had been there first. At one point during our pretty heated exchange I mumbled something to the effect that I made a mistake but that his parents had made a bigger one. He couldn’t possibly have heard my remark or he may have laid me out considering his mood. He was obviously having a bad day and picked me as his scapegoat.

He could simply have said “you’re welcome” and moved on, but no way. He was spoiling for a fight and I gave him both a reason to get angry as well as someone – poor little crippled me – to focus his hostility on. He had his parking place, I had mine, he had waited for less than one minute to get a spot and that was that. Why get all upset about less than nothing? One additional detail: at the outset of our little “talk”, after I had thanked him for allowing me to go ahead of him the first words out of his mouth were “are you crazy? I didn’t let you in. You cut in ahead of me. What is wrong with you?” Fucking jerk.

Then today (Tuesday) there was an incident in the Cavendish mall. I had bought some stuff and was headed for the parking lot to get my car and go home. When I arrived at the exit doors, of which there were three or four, I chose the one door for disabled people because of the condition of my hands. I have Scleroderma which has caused deformity and weakness in both hands (see accompanying photo).

There was a guy cleaning the window of the door I wanted to use and after waiting a few moments and with this guy seeming to ignore both my presence and my need to use the door, I signalled to him and he finally moved away allowing me to open it.

His first comment was “there are other doors”. When I retorted that I was handicapped which he couldn’t see because I was wearing mitts at the time his answer was “you’re handicapped? Like that?”. I understood, correctly as it turned out, what he meant, so I pulled off my mitts and showed him my hands. One thing led to another, escalating quickly into a shouting match with each of us telling the other to shuddup and ending with a resounding “shut up and fuck off” from yours truly. Another jerk? Or was it me?

Finally I had a set-to at the gym. This occurred today (Tuesday). A guy had placed a fairly large gym bag directly in an aisle, impeding the flow of traffic through that area, and after mulling it over in my mind for a few seconds beforehand I decided to say something. I asked him if he could move his stuff – telling him why in the process – only to be greeted with the following remark: “Are you being serious right now?” After I responded in the affirmative, he asked me who (I thought) I was. I answered “I’m Jerry.” He was starting to get angry but still didn’t move the bag. He also said that I if I didn’t like it I should tell the “counter”which is exactly what I decided to do.

I then approached my friend who works as a trainer, my trainer as a matter of fact, and I asked for his help. This guy is almost huge while the ‘bag man’ was simply just big. I, on the other hand, am 125 lbs. soaking wet.

Let’s call my trainer Kenny. Kenny, after questioning me as to what the problem was, seemed to hesitate until I asked him if he was going to help me at which point he accompanied me and engaged the idiot but only after a brief – and as far as I’m concerned – an unnecessary interchange with me. Kenny asked me if the bag was disturbing me and why couldn’t I just walk around it. My answer was that I shouldn’t have to put myself out to do that which was the reason for my addressing the issue in the first place.

He then turned his attention to the “offending” and most offensive party. He first told him that bags were not allowed in the gym – something of which I had been unaware – to which the guy answered that he didn’t have a locker. I would have asked him why not but Kenny, not wanting to be provocative I guess – told him to put it elsewhere, which he did, unfortunately placing on top of another person’s stuff for which that person gave him severe shit. “What’s the matter with you. Are you crazy?” I found that a bit much but that’s poetic justice (nemesis) for you.

At certain points in our argument beginning when I simply asked that jerk to move his bag, he referred to what he obviously considered my advanced years. He said, in front of Kenny, that if I got in his face he would do something about it. “I don’t care how old you are.” He also referred to me as something….”old man.” Can’t remember the adjective he employed but it certainly wasn’t nice.

Later I heard the guy apologize to Kenny saying that he wasn’t usually like that with Kenny responding that everyone has bad days. As far as I was concerned, he was apologizing to the wrong person. Upon leaving the gym I interrupted Kenny in the midst of his training a client, once again, and asked him why he hadn’t asked the guy to apologize to me. I also thanked him, in my inimitable and sarcastic manner, for putting me right on the defensive at the beginning if his interaction with the ‘bagman’ by questioning me and, in the process, making me retell my problem with that fucking large bag regardless of the fact that I had already shared it with him, Kenny that is.

I almost ended up in another argument, and this time with a good friend which would have made four arguments in a mere two days but after I said that I wouldn’t be making my next scheduled appointment with him on the morrow (Wednesday), I strode resolutely out only to call him about twenty minutes later, informing him that I would be there in fact if he hadn’t given my space to someone else. (I was so angry with Kenny that I actually considered quitting that gym and dropping him as my trainer.) I also asked him on the phone to return my call only if I had forfeited my place and that if I didn’t hear from him, I would be seeing him at my allotted time. He called me anyway just to confirm even though it wasn’t necessary for him to have done so but I am happy and somewhat relieved that he did.

I enjoy doing these JuicyLessons for various reasons, depending on the subject I am dealing with on any given day. Today’s is good therapy, quite a change from Mike Duffy, eh?

Hopefully, I won’t be getting into anything negative with anyone today; I have been improving. Two”fights” Monday, only one yesterday.

Peace and I really mean it.

2 Comments

  • Joan Hoyte says:

    As soon as I read that , before going one word more, I said, more like moaned, “Oh yeh….”
    Good thing is though your heart usually is in the right place, and that counts for a lot.

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