JuicyLesson 128: Dude! Where’re my keys? Probably where the sun don’t shine and where the Marois government should be; Fear and loathing at Bell wondering which version of the Habs will show up tonight vs. Calgary


Good day folks.

I am still learning to adjust to edible/ingestible medicinal pot; in this case it was the tincture along with a bit of hash oil which fucked me up. Last Friday afternoon, I had some errands to run so I got ready, put on my coat, hat and scarf, grabbed the remote for the garage, a fedora which I intended to give to my great and good friend Hilton who seems to like my hats as well as looking quite well in them, and my car keys, and headed out the door, locking it behind me. I then used the remote to open the garage door and used the car key to open the trunk of the small Kia.

One point here; since my Caddy was in the shop for some body work in the aftermath of a fender-bender on that ice storm-ette Saturday afternoon, I was driving a rental, a 2013 Kia Optima with approximately 30,000 km. on it. I am now back in our 2013 ATS, thank goodness.

Anyway the reason I mention this is because the presence of our ‘keyless’ Cadillac in the absence of our rented Optima would have obviated the whole hassle of being caught keyless in Notre-Dame-de-Grace simply because as long as the Caddy “key” is anywhere inside the car – trunk included – the ignition will work* and so then will the car. But not with that fucking little Kia, No fucking Sirree. [*This comes to you courtesy of an untested hypothesis as opposed to the tested one that hypothesizes incorrectly as it turns out, that the remote from our Cadillac does function from its position on the pavement outside but immediately under the front seat of said vehicle.]

Once I had the Kia’s trunk open, no sweat, right? Wrong. Because instead of simply depositing the hat, which was bound for Hilton’s head, inside the Optima’s trunk and closing the trunk after that, for some reason, I had left the two keys – the house key and the car key – as well as the car’s remote together inside the hat inside the trunk and I can still recall the slight belly drop as I realized that the trunk was on a downward arc heading to closure – as it were – and I could do nothing about that unfortunate circumstance. Momentum ruled, the trunk closed and locked and I was fucked, at least for the next little while as I called George at the body shop, CAA, GM Roadside Assistance, with the latter having told me to call Kia Roadside Assistance which I was about to do when George, the guy from CARS (Centre auto Raffi services), just happened to call me back to ask me if I’d had any luck. When I answered in the negative, he told me to sit tight and that he would be there ASAP to help me which is exactly what happened.

It was the med pot which got me … again … maybe not as severely as on that previous Wednesday [JL 118, Thursday, January 23rd] when I had actually come pretty close to losing that same Kia, but still in the same ball park, up the same alley, so to speak. Yup. Please remember to relax while you acclimatize yourself to the edibles’ effect(s). First of all, it is important to recognize that fact that it may take quite a while for something you ingested – some med pot product like brownies, blondies, cookies, tincture, hash oil, bubble caps, etc. – to come to full effect; besides that, it may actually take as many as two hours or more at least for whatever you have ingested to have any effect whatsoever. So in summary, it may take quite a long time for the “edibles” to affect you, as well as the fact that they are inclined to last an inordinate amount of time and until you get used to this you may have some problems as I did. It is particularly important not to ingest a second “helping” too soon after the first one as in the following scenario:
I took that shit over an hour ago and since nothing appears to be happening, I think I’ll have some more. Deadly. Really fucking deadly. You’re gonna have to trust me on that.

Also, please keep in mind once again that not only does it take longer for ingestibles to have their effects, med pot products also in many cases hit a lot harder than simple smoking dope does or did. So there you have some differences between smoking and consuming cannabis in other ways in terms of differences in the amount of time they take to have an effect initially, as well as differences in the total duration of your “trips” for want of a more appropriate word as well as their impact.

That’s about it.

Peace really and truly freaking out. O-U-T.

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